Study Ranks The Betchiest Parents By Country

Recently, AOL put out a ranking of the world's strictest betchiest parents. According to the study, South Africa, Italy, and Portugal topped the betch charts. Parents were ranked on their willingness to let their children roam free (go outside alone), something a betch in America might take for granted. I fucking hate when people tell me what to do.

In South Africa, 80% of the parents surveyed were convinced that if they let their child roam free, they would be hit by a car, Regina George style. Portuguese and Italian parents were even less likely to let their children out unattended, for fear of being flattened on an unpaved road. Italy's all about letting their kids drink from the age of 16, but they can't go outside alone?

The study conducted also discussed the “corporatization of play,” and basically raised the question of whether or not it was still cool to play outside. At this point, the researchers conducting the study got a little betchy, stating “…it [playing outside] can even help develop social skills and prevent kids from getting fat.”

Translation:  If you want to be cool and have cool friends, get the fuck outside. If you don't, you'll get fat and no one will like you.

To all of the South African, Italian, and Portuguese betches, I just want you to know that my American mother must not love me that much, because I go outside alone all the time.

Roam free, betches. Roam free. 



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