A Letter to Everyone Asking for Love “Advice” They Don’t Take

Dear everyone who “neeeeds advice about whether to text [insert fuckboy] again even though he hasn’t responded in weeks,”

First of all, no. The answer to whether you should text him is always no, ICYMI.

Second of all, let’s spend a minute discussing the term “advice” because you’re clearly confused about what it means. Basically, when you ask someone for advice, it implies that you genuinely don’t know what to do because the answer to your question isn’t painfully obvious. That means asking whether you should triple text your ex-boyfriend who threw up on you last weekend does not count as asking for “advice.” Neither does asking if you should order a Big Mac for lunch. The answer is pretty clear in both cases, unless I want you to get fat, in which case I’d say treat yo’self to that burger, girl!

Despite the fact that you don’t actually need advice, you ask for it constantly and when the logical solution is given, your response is always the same:

“Ohhhh okay. Yeah you’re right. We’ll see…”

*texts guy later that night*

What I’ve learned from my many years as a pro bono therapist is that your so-called “advice” is just a pretense for what you’re actually looking for: someone to tell you what you want to hear so you can make what you already know is a bad decision without feeling guilty about it. You could ask 50 people whether you should stay with your lame-ass boyfriend and even though 49 of them will say “DUMP HIM YESTERDAY,” if one person says “I guess you could try dating for a little longer,” that’s what you’ll do. Why? Because that one person “actually understands” your situation, aka is willing to indulge you in your stupid choices.

So where does that leave us? Well for you, it means you’re going to make some poor decisions and (hopefully) learn from your own mistakes. For me, IDGAF either way but don’t have time to be doling out real suggestions to people who want false affirmation. You could try Elite Daily.

Enjoy that shame spiral next week,

The Betches


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