A Strongly Worded Letter To All The Fucking Streaming Services I Have To Buy

I’ve had enough. This betch has had enough. Ya girl was so excited for Frank Ocean’s new album Blonde. After waiting months for his flaky ass to release his album, it finally happened and the world rejoiced. But nothing is free in this world because it was released exclusively on Apple Music, something else we have to pay for. WTF is Apple Music? Is that not just fucking iTunes? If it’s anything like Apple pay, I don’t know what it’s about, and I don’t want to know what it’s about.

It’s not just Apple Music that is the problem. Ya girl purchased Spotify Premium recently so I didn’t have to listen to the same commercial about it being summertime. Lol, thanks for telling me Spotify. Had no idea that’s the reason sweat was pouring out every crevice because of the heat. Anyway, yes, it was a great purchase, and yes, I feel like a lavish betch. But when Rihanna and Kanye released their albums earlier this year, they were exclusively on Tidal, not Spotify. Tidal, a fucking waste of time, space, and money (like me), is yet another music streaming site you have to pay for. 

You've gotta be kidding

So I ask my fellow betches: How many fucking music streaming services do I have to pay for to listen to decent music?

I just heard that Soundcloud…yes, SOUNDCLOUD, has commercials now. Unless you pay a monthly fee, you’re going to think the commercials about God knows what are part “cool” remixes of robot sounds.

I understand we need to pay for music, but I’m not going to pay for multiple different streaming sites just to find out another one is being invented as we speak. That’s ridiculous. Bring it back to the old days when the only music site was iTunes. Don’t musicians and music executives understand that the more difficult it is to pay for music, the more people are just going to torrent it?

I'm on a budget

All in all, I haven’t listened to Blonde yet, and I probably never will unless someone uploads a version to YouTube that isn’t distorted to be two octaves higher than the actual music.

I’m done. 

I'm done


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