A Strongly Worded Letter To The #NoMakeup Movement

Dear Internet Trolls Who Are Probably Already Chomping At The Bit To Tell Me Your Opinions,

Let me just preface this letter by saying that I in no way am bashing Alicia Keys or any woman/man/human in general for either wearing makeup or choosing to go without it. I don’t give a flying fuck about how other people choose to live their lives. That’s the difference between myself and Donald Trump. With that said, I have an issue with this “no makeup” thing that’s crept up across the internet because of Alicia Keys’ decision not to wear it.

This all started at the beginning of the summer when Alicia Keys went to shoot her new album cover. Apparently Keys showed up to set fresh from a gym sesh and the photog thought she looked so gorgeous and raw that she insisted no one change a thing. Must be nice. I know when I get back from the gym the last thing I want anyone doing is taking photos of me, but to each her own I guess. Anyway, so ~empowered~ from the feeling of going makeup free during this shoot, Keys decided that’s how she’d live the rest of her life, writing an essay in Lena Dunham’s Lenny Letter that talked all about how she would no longer cover up: “Not my face, not my mind, not my soul, not my thoughts, not my dreams, not my struggles, not my emotional growth. Nothing.”

Eye roll

Okay, seriously? Wearing a little concealer does nothing to cover up your mind, soul, thoughts, dreams, struggles, or emotional growth. All it covers are the bags under your eyes and the breakouts on your chin. While I’m aware the rest of the essay goes on to elaborate on the obstacles women face every day and how difficult it is to live up to society’s expectations, how is not wearing makeup the thing that’s going to end sexism? There are 40 trillion other things that make it hard to be a woman, and the fact that I spend money on eyeliner and have a flawless contour isn’t really at the top of the list.

Sure, it’s pretty fucked that if I have a pimple I’m supposed to cover it and make it so the world has no idea I’m struggling with acne, but if a man has a zit no one even notices. But I’m not sure why that’s entirely considered a bad thing. I have the resources and acceptance of society to go to Sephora and buy all kinds of shit to make sure I look perfect and feel fucking fantastic every single day while a man, unfortunately, has to just have acne and feel ugly. Isn’t that the truly fucked part?


Alicia Keys has recently also been under fire for her choice not to wear makeup by people who have nothing better to do than notice if she’s wearing tinted moisturizer or not. Who really gives a flying fuck? Does it affect you if she is or isn’t? She’s a married mother of 2 with a slew of awards and a voice that angels seem to have vested upon her. Does she really also need to deal with people online telling her she better have a perfect cat eye or they won’t download her music anymore? Do the two correlate even a little bit?

It got to the point where she literally had to post a photo of herself blowing a kiss to her haters with the caption “Y’all, me choosing to be makeup free doesn’t mean I’m anti-makeup. Do you!” I suppose that’s really my point here. WHY TF DOES ANYONE CARE WHAT ANYONE ELSE IS WEARING ON THEIR FUCKING FACES?

who gives a shit

Personally, I’m not going makeup free for the sake of showing off that I’m better than people who wear it. They’ll know just by looking at me. It’s not like I go from the faceless beast in American Horror Story: Hotel to Kendall Jenner if I have it on. But I also know that I like it better when my eyelashes are as black as my soul and my face isn’t the same color as paper. That’s just how I prefer to exist. There are some people who wear a full face every single day because that’s what they like. It’s not empowering to go makeup free unless you feel good about yourself that way. If Alicia Keys does, great. She’s also naturally beautiful and famous and can afford all the doctors and topical creams that it takes to be fucking #flawless. If you want to walk around without makeup because you’re too lazy, or don’t feel the need for it, or just don’t like not being able to scratch your eye when it’s itchy, fucking go for it, but don’t shame someone for disagreeing with you. Makeup isn’t politics. Get over yourself and find a new fucking hobby. #Feminism

Smudge Proof Kisses,

The Betches


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