The US State Department Doesn’t Think You’re Hot

Unless you’re studying abroad and every day is a vacation, it’s the best time of year: SPRAAAANG BREAK. So the State Department decided to go on Twitter and warn kids going to international, all-inclusive resorts. But instead of your mom insisting you take an “emergency” credit card and aggressively texting you about getting Zika, the State Department got really shady. I’m assuming they just hired a betch from Georgetown to take over their social media accounts.

It started pretty normal with warnings about buying pirated goods, being robbed, or having your drink spiked. Tbh all of those things already happen on college campuses—you don’t need to go to Mexico. Then they started talking about drug smuggling, because they finally watched Spring Breakers. Might seem like a bit of an overreaction, but based on how things are turning out for Piper on Orange is the New Black, that actually seems like a pretty valid warning.

But anyway, then the State Department crossed a line and basically advised fugly girls that if a foreign dude wants to have sex with her, it’s probably because he wants to rob her.

That is like way harsh, Tai. Whoever Tweeted that tried to mansplain the fuck-up and assure everyone that all US citizens are equally unattractive, not just the women.

Sure sure. Basically, the State Department thinks that instead of Cabo, you can try Sears.


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