Some Dudes Stole $1,000 Worth of Jorts

At the top of the list of ugly shit dudes wear during the summer is a tie between cargo shorts and jorts, two of the worst clothing items known to mankind.

So it’s shocking to hear that some thieves stole $1,354 dollars’ worth of the denim disasters from the True Religion store in SoHo.

Police reports say the men grabbed two pairs worth $356 and four acid-washed pairs worth $992 and then left the store. Side note: It took six dudes to pull off the heist.

Like I get that designer clothes are worth a shit ton of money, but is there a secret black-market none of us know about that people go to for tacky designer denim goods?

I literally have so many follow up questions for these guys:

Why did it take six people?

You get that the guys in Oceans 11 were stealing things that were actually valuable, right?

Why rob a True Religion–what did they ever do to you aside from creating some of the ugliest jeans on the planet?

How is True Religion staying in business selling pairs of $200 jorts?

What kind of person is buying $200 jorts?

What’s the resale value on stolen jorts?

K so most of my questions are jorts related, but still. I think they need to find these guys, not so True Religion can be reimbursed, but so we can get some closure on this Jorts Report. C'mon, NYPD. Get to work.


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