Betchy Hero Calls 911 To Get Out Of A Hiking Date, And Other Shit You Missed On Social Media

Did you graduate this weekend? Well hold on to your fucking hats because the real world is about to hit you in the face like a ton of bricks. Congrats! While you were out celebrating your impending demise or hungover AF from some Kentucky Derby mint juleps, here’s what you missed over the weekend on social media.


Resting up for the show in Philly it’s gonna be a good one mark my words

A photo posted by Justin Bieber (@justinbieber) on

What’s a weekend roundup without Justin Bieber doing something totally fucking stupid. On a level of one to getting a fucking face tattoo stupid, Bieber really outdid himself. What even is it? I guess it’s a tiny cross. I’m sure Jesus would love it. #PeaceandBlessins

In the news and probably all over your Facebook feed is going to be this SNL video letting everyone know Ted Cruz is the Devil. Dana Carvey reprises his role as The Church Lady, which was actually a really popular skit on SNL before we were old enough to get the jokes on SNL. Taran Killam plays Cruz in the smarmy-est way possible. Is there really any other way? #Hilarious

We need to talk about the most hideous effing shoes I’ve ever seen. Russel Westbrook is breaking the internet and hearts of decent footwear lovers everywhere with these hideous kicks. He debuted them in the OKC-Spurs play-off game. He had a pretty decent game, but it’s probably because the other players were super distracted by these hideous Jordans [insert What’re thoooose joke here]. #Whynot? #WhyTho?

Ansel Egort of pretty-much-any-movie-that-also-stars-Shailene-Woodley fame is so over his Wikipedia photo. I mean he does have a pretty stupid shit-eating grin on his face, but I wouldn’t say it’s the worst picture ever. Your challenge, should you choose to accept it, find an even worse picture of Egort and replace the current Wiki photo. #WasteOurTime2016

Ok, so technically this tweet was posted last week, not over the weekend, but it really was too good not to share. Slow clap for this betch who got duped into going on a hiking date. That’s the fucking worst idea for a first date since a dude tried to get me to go to crossfit with him. Ew. No. How hard did these cops have to investigate to realize this lady was not having the hike life and actually not sick at all? #honorarybetch



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