This weekend was the end of Wimbledon, the betchy tennis tournament where players have to wear white, and the crowd just casually gets hammered on Veuve.
There was no surprise on finals weekend, with queen betch of the world Serena Williams winning both the singles and doubles titles. This was Serena’s 22nd grand slam singles title, which means she’s now tied for the most all-time titles. She’s tied with Steffi Graf, a German nicegirl who left tennis and now owns a prep school in Vegas. Rough.
Beyoncé and Jay Z were hanging out in Serena’s player box for the match, which is like no big deal. You know you’ve made it when Beyoncé is calling asking for tickets to see you. Ellen Degeneres and Portia Di Rossi were also there, but as cool as they are, are still not Beyoncé so nobody cares.
Literally like two hours after winning one title, Serena was back on court with big sis Venus to win the doubles trophy. The Williams sisters have barely played doubles together in like three years, but still beat the shit out of everyone else. Now they’re basically the team to beat at the Olympics.
All hail Serena, and to those talking about her nipples instead of her tennis, shut the fuck up.