Girls Are Buying Themselves Engagement Rings, Proving The Limit On Desperation Does Not Exist

Getting engaged is a huge part of most women’s life plans. Sure, you’ll meet the occasional girl that tells you she’d rather fucking die than legally give her freedom to another human being. But she’s lying and she’s definitely got a secret Pinterest board with some rings and centerpieces and shit. I personally blame Disney. Even Mulan, a badass Chinese warrior, didn’t really give a shit about anything but locking down Li Shang. Shit’s been programmed in our heads since day 1. And now, some girls are taking their desperation into their own hands by buying themselves engagement rings

Kristen Wiig are you fucking kidding me Bridesmaids

No, sadly, I am not kidding.

This company called Fred and Far (tf does that even mean?) is now making “self engagement rings,” which is so fucking stupid that I can’t even deal rn. They’re these weird-ass little pinky rings that come with a pledge to always choose and love yourself. I actually just threw up in my mouth a little writing that.

You're Embarrassing Yourself Dave Grohl

Like, okay. I think putting yourself first is great. In fact, I think all women, whether you’re single, engaged, married, asexual, whatever, should ALWAYS do that. But if you are so freaked out by the fact that you’re not getting married that you go out in search of an engagement ring to give to your-fucking-self, all you are saying is that you’re desperate AF. By the way, these things cost 350 fucking dollars. I can think of about 350 better things to spend my money on. What happens when these girls with their self engagement rings actually get engaged? Are they going to be like, “Thanks for this diamond that actually means something and probably cost you a small fortune, but, you see, I have a basic-looking pinky ring that shows how I choose to put myself first.” FUCK NO. They’ll get rid of that shit in a damn second. What happened to just getting wasted when your college bestie posts an engagement Insta? Shit works like a charm.

Brandi Glanville DGAF


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