Science Says You Should Go To Starbucks Immediately

So science has once again decided to agree with us betches: coffee is nature's best medicine. The New England Journal of Medicine and Harvard University (ever heard of them?) came out with a bunch of studies that say everyone should drink a shit ton of coffee (caramel frappuccinos don't count). Women who drink six cups of coffee a day (or two venti skinny vanilla lattes) are 15% less likely to die from Alzheimers (RIP Ellis Grey), cancer, heart disease, Parkinsons, and diabetes – so like drink up mother fuckers. Plus, people who drink coffee are 20% less likely to be depressed (coffee makes you happy, and happy people just don't kill their husbands). This just reinforces the world's most important question: What is the purpose of the hours between coffee and wine? 


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