Scheana And Shay Are Getting A Divorce

First Brangelina. Then Grace. Now, the latest great couple of our time has booked a one-way ticket to Splitsville: Scheana and Shay from Vanderpump Rules are getting a divorce. Say it isn’t so! The humanity! I’m totally shocked!!

Oh wait, no I’m not. Not at all. I have a love/hate relationship with Scheana (mostly as in, I love to hate her), but I can’t exactly say I’m shocked that her marriage to a drug addict did not work out. Like, first things first: How do you date someone for years and then not learn until after you’re married that they’re casually addicted to pills? Somebody please explain this phenomenon to me. And second, when you’re so clueless that you insult your addict husband for not drinking … yeah, color me not shocked.

Given that Shay reportedly ran away for 6 days and started using again not too long ago, we all saw this coming a mile away. The two released a statement, saying, “Our story will continue on through the love and mutual respect we have cultivated throughout our 15-year friendship.” In other words:

Lisa Vanderpump laughing

They continued, “We might have failed at our marriage, but we are committed to succeeding as friends and will continue to support each other’s personal happiness and professional success.” So like, Shay is going to continue to mooch off Scheana’s money (if she has any), and Scheana will continue to use his drug addiction as a storyline to get her more camera time. Sounds great.

In all seriousness, I am kind of sad to hear this news. Maybe Bravo can give Scheana her own dating spin-off called What I Like. Or maybe Nothing Gold Can Shay. Who am I kidding, I’m sure they’re already 6 episodes deep into filming.


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