We all remember Rugrats as a phenomenal childhood show, but mostly because of Angelica. The other babies were neurotic and way too outdoorsy for me to connect with. But Angelica told a bunch of two year olds that Santa wasn’t real and already knew how to play Hannukah for 8 days of gifts. Well the creator of the show released illustrations of the characters of adults, and it’s sadder than when you didn’t get your braces off in time for your bat mitzvah.
Lil is a lactation consultant aka she helps people breast feed while wearing the world’s most disgusting dread locks and driving a 1996 Toyota. Phil is a stay-at-home dad and, I’m assuming, bikes to the farmers’ market every week. Dil sells cheese, has a YouTube channel, and smokes more weed than James Franco. Tommy is a college professor, who probably grades based on attendance. He married Kimi who has her own parenting blog, which I’m assuming is just an elaborate Pinterest page.
But, to no one’s surprise there are a couple of gems. Susie and Chuckie got married and have their own reality show. So like The Real Housewives of Animated TV? Chuckie is also the CEO of a software company. So think if Mark Zuckerberg married NeNe Leakes. The betch of the century Angelica became CEO of the Cynthia doll company, took two weeks for maternity leave, and doesn’t speak to any of the babies anymore.
So the moral of the story is nice girls finish last and betches wear custom suits to their corner offices.