The moment we all hoped wouldn’t happen seems to have finally happened:
Donald Trump has been elected our next President Rob Kardashian and Blac Chyna broke up, according to TMZ. Say what you want about Rob and Chyna; I’m legitimately more upset about this breakup than I was about Brangelina’s divorce.
Given the fact that Rob just threw a public Twitter temper tantrum that Blac Chyna was supposedly not invited to her own baby shower, I’ve gotta say, I’m more than a little confused. Like, why would you drag your teenage sister in a public forum for a woman you weren’t even dating anymore? It doesn’t add up for me. Unless he just really hates Kylie that much and wanted to drag her anyway, which I would wholeheartedly support.
TMZ claims Rob and Chyna broke up a while ago, but “briefly reunited” for a celebratory dinner before the premiere of their show, but they’re still dunzo. If that’s true, that means Rob is really doing the most to try to drum up publicity for this show. Wait a second. I’m onto you,
Kris Rob. If that rumor is a publicity stunt then I’m sure this rumor is also a publicity stunt, so it’s kind of like a publicity stunt inside a publicity stunt, so like publicity stunt-ception, so like … wait, where am I? I think I just theorized myself into another dimension.
Look, I’m rooting for you kids. If anybody can make it, it’s a former stripper who used to date a shitty rapper who’s now dating a shitty teenager and a failed sock entrepreneur who loves food more than he loves himself. Ah, you kids. You keep me young. God love ya. That being said, I honestly wouldn’t be surprised either way if these rumors were true or not. But if Rob and Chyna really did break up, they each need to invest in some birth control, cause this family tree does not need to get any more convoluted than it already is.