The Kardashians are really crushing it—and by “it” we mean the news cycle—this week. First Kim puts T Swift in her place and now Rob Kardashian and Blac Chyna reveal the sex of their baby, adding fuel to the fire.
Normally, when a celebrity releases any facts about their unborn child it will maybe get a mention in UsWeekly beneath a photo of the expectant mother looking like a whale in custom couture. But these are the Kardashians, so this will be headline news for a solid week, because with any innocuous news comes at least 3 episodes worth of drama.
For example, Khloé is reported to be “learning to accept” the fact that Blac Chyna is going to be in their lives forever now. What the hell was she doing for the past few months since this pregnancy was announced? Hoping it was all just a hoax? Actually, can’t even fault her because same.
I have 2 main observations here: 1) Kris Jenner truly is a genius, with the Kimye/Swift debate reaching a détente she definitely told Rob to release this info today to heat things back up and, 2) How did I not know that Blac Chyna’s child with Tyga was named King Cairo? Is that where Kylie got the idea for King Kylie? Is she plagiarizing a baby? Is that how she and Tyga bonded in the first place? So many questions. Guess I will have to watch Rob & Chyna after all.
Oh, they’re having a girl BTW!
So let’s play the name game for the next 3 months till Chyna pops that thing out. Here are our top 10 choices:
1. Kween: Yas.
2. White Asia: Another obvious choice.
3. Roberta III: Not totally sure she’d qualify for III status, but we’re keeping it.
4. Ms. KUWTK: Good luck pronouncing that, substitute teachers.
5. Northwestern: Maybe it will up her chances of getting into the school? Either way it would make family get-togethers confusing AF which is what we’re rooting for. This family isn’t confusing enough.
6. Princess Cali: AKA Lil’ Funyons
7. Lil’ Dash: If it doesn’t work out as a baby name, maybe someone can take this as their rapper alter ego.
8. Kangela: So she could be named after her mom and her grandmother. And sort of the kangaroo from Winnie the Pooh.
9. King Karma: The very person who bit Taylor Swift in the ass this week.
10. Sara Lee: If Rob picks the name.