Revenge Recap: David Clarke’s Very Sad Handwritten Book

After last night's Revenge we were overwhelmed with all sorts of emotions ranging from total confusion about Emanda's mom to utter disgust at the idea of Ashley and Daniel having sex to just being really excited to watch Homeland, but all in all there's a shit ton to comment on.

First of all, it turns out Victoria was telling the truth that Emanda's mom was fucking cray! That flashback of her trying to drown little Emanda was some seriously messed up shit…and also completely absurd that we're expected to believe she wouldn't have ever had that flashback before. Whatever you say ABCMT, whatever you say.

Fake Amanda's fall from the balcony was similarly exciting and completely fucking unlikely. Like scientifically it wouldn't have happened but then again Lydia Davis fell from a penthouse with nothing but a broken arm and 5-hour amnesia, and this is the network that brought you the Dharma Initiative so really, you never know.

Note: Speaking of initiatives, dharma and otherwise, you think it's time to get a new word for evil conspiratorial organizations, ABC? Try the thesaurus.

Finally, Nolan and Padma sitting in a tree…? Nolan what happened to you being queer as a six dollar bill?

Call Outs

The episode opens with Vic destroying evidence. How out of character!

“Don't worry dad, I'll hold down the company while you're gone” …no, there's no way Daniel can even do simple addition without a tutor.

Why is Ashley like the family mediator/spy/psychiatrist. Like who the fuck is she? It's even funnier that Conrad put Ashley, a noted extortionist and povo, to look after Daniel, who has a fuck ton of money and a history of being easily extorted.

Fake Amanda loves a horizontally striped cotton crew neck. That's how you know she's poor. Also because strippers showed up to her baby shower.

revenge intuitionDeclan, you are about to be taken.

Jack to the inspector guy: Can I tell my workers they can come back to a job tomorrow?
…what workers? As far as I can tell Daniel Grayson was their only employee and that was for like 3 hours last summer when he was bored.

Why won't Jack Porter just come out and ask his brother if he's fucking rando boys on his boat? Because that would be my first thought.

So Charlotte and Declan share the same niece and are gonna be hooking up. This is too OC to function.

LOL Moments

Emanda's still calling him the WHM even though she knows his name. So betchy that she's still a fan of #9 nicknames.

On the topic of naming, why does fake Amanda store the Graysons in her phone as “Grayson Manor”? First of all it's more like a summer estate, but if you weren't gonna stick with a standard Victoria Grayson, at least go for something ironic, like Aunt Vicky or White Haired Manor.

revenge intuition“I just can't believe I signed up for a role that has to cry like a pussy once a season”

I love how the whole Clarke family casually has dart guns lying around. It's like gun control should be implemented for the sole reason of Clarke family extracurricular activities.

Padma: It's my job to take care of you
Nolan: No it's your job to look over my financial statements

Emanda sheds real tears? She has tear ducts? Can't believe Miyagi let her keep those.

Victoria: Your father was trying to protect you from the truth about your mother. He would rather have you believe she was dead than to tell you the unspeakable truth, your mother had BAD highlights!

Season 2, episode 3 recap>>


More amazing sh*t

Best from Shop Betches