So last week Mattel released Barbie dolls with realistic body standards. There was petite Barbie, tall Barbie, curvy barbie, and a bunch of different skin tones. The whole idea was to stop making young girls obsessed with having the perfect body. But now hot middle school girls will need to develop personalities.
Obviously, the fuckbois of the universe had to ruin this for everyone, so Lyst designed Ken dolls with realistic body types. They’re not actually making the dolls, because that would force men to admit it’s cool for boys to play with Barbies. These fake Ken dolls include black and asian Kens, which should tbh just be done IRL. But they also took this way too far, so naturally we have a few suggestions on their designs:
– Dad Bod Ken should only be sold in packs of 4, because frat pros travel in packs. He should also have a Natty Lite and pong ball glued to his hands.
– Balding Ken needs to come with a web access code to eHarmony and a book of dad jokes.
– Petite Ken’s mouth should be painted on as a frown, because Barbie would never date a man shorter than 6’2″.
– Hipster Ken should have a mini moleskin notebook, a latte with foam art, and only be sold in Brooklyn.