Real World Roundup: Nick Cannon Reveals He’s Whipped In and Out of the Bedroom

In what must be a symbol of the coming betchocalypse, Miley Cyrus' little dog is dead along with Kim Kardashian's cat. Perhaps Miley's weird lesbionic haircut and outfits have something to do with her grief over her sick dog. As a former betch of the week, it makes sense that Miley would have a way betchier pet than Kim. We wish her well and pray she doesn’t get a buzz cut to deal with the loss. Read article>>

In one of the more disgusting things I've heard this morning, Nick Cannon told Howard Stern that he and Mariah have sex to the soundtrack of Mariah's greatest hits. I'm sure their sex must be hot hot hot if it's to the tune of “Hero” or “Through the Rain.” Sounds like some sexy shit right there. This might be the final thing Mariah needed to do to win the title of Most Narcissistic Person in the World. Well, maybe that's Justin Timberlake. Even more disgusting is that Nick masturbates to Mariah's songs also. Talk about being whipped. I bet he also lights candles and draws M a bubble bath before jerking off. Read article>>

The Pope is tweeting and annoying everyone with his answering of rhetorical questions via twitter. It's important to note that the pope doesn't do the actual tweeting because he's old as fuck and probably thinks an iPod is the devil's plaything. But anyway, the pope will be tweeting again today (If he didn't already, I wouldn't really know he refuses to RT us so I'm considering unfollowing) answering questions that tweeters ask him. I already submitted my own questions including “Is Santa Claus real? If so, where he at?” and “Do you know where my hot pockets are?” Both are yet to be answered but I still have faith. Read article>>

In other news that makes us want to vom, Crystal Harris' engagement to Hugh Hefner is back on and the ring looks pretty sick. While Hugh is 86 and Crystal is 26, we're sure they'll be very happy together until two years from now when Hugh dies and Crystal gets a massive amount of money for having to fuck a disgusting old man for 2 seconds before he goes soft. I bet douchey grandpas everywhere are checking the batteries on their pacemakers as this gives them hope for their futures with young blondes who will do them the honor of marrying them for their money. Read article>>


More amazing sh*t

Best from Shop Betches