Real World Roundup: Here’s the Kardashian Khristmas Kard, If You Kare

In the most unsettling development in redhead culture since Drew Barrymore gave birth, according to a recent study, you could be a ginger and not even fucking know it. Terrifying. I mean it’s one thing to go through life, knowing since birth that you’re genetically inferior. But to think you could wake up one day and have your world rocked by the revelation that you may in fact be a carrier of this demonic gene…I imagine it’s similar to waking up deaf or worse, ugly. We advise everyone to get tested. Know your status. Read article>>

According to Eddie Redmayne, one of the stars of Les Miz (also sort of a gingy), the set of the film smelled like shit. Thanks for confirming what we already knew: not only is Anne Hathaway an abomination on the eyes, ears and heart, but she also smells like dead fish and other disgusting shit. Color us not surprised. Read article>>

In what will be called the most depressing news of the week by the dumbest girls among us, Channing Tatum has knocked a bitch up. While we wish him and his undoubtedly superhuman hot baby mama all the best, we have to say this news does not bum us out. Sure Channing is sexy in a born-out-of-incest sort of way, but I’m sorry, I simply could not bear to look at my child every day knowing that he originated in a ball sack that starred in Magic Mike. Read article>>

Finally, kongratulations to the Kardashians for topping the list of “most uncomfortable family Xmas cards” for the ninth consecutive year. They once again beat out Donny and Marie Osmond as well as the Woody Allen/Mia Farrow brood circa mid 90s. We’re just surprised they haven’t switched their default holiday to Kwanza…for obvious reasons. Also, I read in Star yesterday that Bruce moved out and they're getting a divorce because he's sick of Kris exploiting his kids. As expert body language analysis of this picture reveals, Bruce and Kris' distance from each other in the Khristmas kard klearly konfirms the rumor. Read article>>


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