Kim Kardashian’s Co-Star Is Engaged

Ray J of Kim K sex tape fame is engaged to his longtime girlfriend of one year. Hopefully their marriage can last longer than 72 days. The bride-to-be is Princess Consuela Banana Hammock Love—that’s her legal name and also what I named my horse when I was 8 years old. Jw if this is the same Princess Love aka Lil’ Funyuns who wouldn’t stop harassing Denise on Master of None? Whoever this lady is, she and Ray J met while filming Love and Hip Hop: Hollywood, and Ray J proposed in December of 2015, but this weekend was the first time we saw her with the ring.

Ray J proposed to Princess on a tarmac with a private jet, so in case she said no he could make a quick escape. Then comes the weird part: Her parents and friends watched the proposal in hiding and then jumped out and surprised Princess. Déjà vu? That’s exactly what Kanye West did when he proposed to Kim, except he hosted everyone at the LA Dodger’s stadium, not a tarmac. That’s a really nice metaphor for what I thought 2016 was going to be like and what 2016 is actually like.

I can just hear Kanye picking up North from ballet class shouting, “Ray J I’m really happy for you and Imma let you finish, but Kim and I had one of the best proposals of all time.”


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