2016 is going out with a bang by bringing back the ghost of winters’ past: the polar vortex. Remember that time in February 2014 when we were just blackout drunk for a couple weeks straight because it was literally too fucking cold to go outside? Colleges cancelled classes, adult betches “worked from home,” and the only way you could keep your body temperature above freezing was with a constant alcohol blanket.
Northeast betches know this past weekend was already cold as shit—let’s all applaud the brave women who didn’t wear tights with their winter formal dresses. But this was the syllabus week of winter weather that’s about to hit—in other words, you ain’t seen nothing yet. On Friday, Canada is exporting more of its most treasured possessions—not Drake or Justin Bieber, arctic temperatures. It’s probably going to be 30 degrees colder than usual next weekend for the Northeast and close to freezing in California and Florida. Nobody is safe.
Just make sure your liquor cabinet is stocked by Thursday.