The National Park Service is celebrating its centennial this year. In honor of the special anniversary, people are being the fucking worst.
For example, the weekend after Yellowstone National Park opened for their summer 2016 season, a genius of a woman decided to meander up to a bison and pet it, like a fucking moron.
Last year, a parkgoer was tossed into the air and had to be hospitalized after attempting to take a selfie with a bison. That bozo was one of five people to be attacked by bison in the park in 2015. Park regulations require visitors to remain 100 yards from the park’s bears and wolves, and 25 yards away from the rest of Yellowstone’s “large” animals. This lady decided to ignore the posted signs and just go with her desire to get too close to nature.
Next up, a father-and-son duo from not America decided a baby buffalo “looked cold” and decided to put it in their SUV.
After attempting to drop it off at a ranger station, park rangers were like “Oh, hell nah!” and tried to reunite the baby with its herd. Unfortunately, the babe wasn’t accepted back into the herd and started trying to go up to people and cars in the park. The park was forced to euthanize the baby. What the literal fuck. Like, how dumb are people? Did you see how cute that thing was? Well, now it’s dead thanks to people.
And as if we needed another reason to hate vloggers, a group of Canadian
assholes “filmmakers” left a clearly marked trail to risk their lives and the pristine nature of the park in favor of some sweet video shots/general douchebaggery.
The group, High on Life, issued an apology after they say they made an “unfortunate error” of leaving the pathway. The water they were standing next to is only, like, literally boiling hot. I think the only “unfortunate error” here is that one or all of them didn’t fall in.
Like, Canada kind of seems like a better and better place to go if the country keeps sending all of their worst people here. Just saying.
As a West Coast betch through and through, it’s my admonition to you to just like, be cool when exploring the national parks. Sure, violating park rules will get you a cooler Instagram picture, but it could also get you totally murdered by nature. Which, at that point, is probably what you deserve, but I really don’t want you to mess up the landscape while you’re at it.