New Canadian App Is Yelp For People

The stereotype is that Canadians are disgustingly nice, but, alas, that label might not ring true anymore.

A Calgary based company is developing what some are calling a “Yelp for people”.  It’s called “Peeple” because using the normal spelling of People would probably make them super liable to a lawsuit from People Magazine.

Anyway, the app lets you create a rating on a five-star system for basically everyone you know: Zero stars for your shitty roommate, creepy ass neighbor or horrible boss.

Once someone has put your name in the Peeple system you can’t opt out. You’re in there forever with a rating for how good of a human you are. Yikes.

The apps founders claim that since you search for reviews on restaurants, cars, and neighborhoods you should be able to review people in your life as well.

Many of us have been using Tinder to evaluate self-worth and our relative hotness, but if you had to delete the app when too many matches and boring ass convos were using too much valuable storage space, Peeple could be your new go-to!

Positive ratings post automatically and negative posts will be in your inbox thing for 48 hours so you can dispute them which you totally will because it’s not your fault your barista made your regular trenta iced coffee with skim a trenta iced coffee with whole milk, and you had some harsh words for him. You could literally taste yourself getting fatter. And maybe it’s not your fault you yelled at your roommates for turning the thermostat fan and heat on at the same fucking time. That’s practically inexcusable. Do you deserve a bad rating on your life for that? Probably. But maybe not a very public bad rating.

I thought worrying about likes on photos and posts was getting out of hand. At least your shitty personality and general horrible demeanor will have a quantifiable tally now. Whatever, just pay people to give you good ratings or something. 


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