New Year, new app claiming to be the next Facebook. A while ago we told you about Periscope and Meerkat, the live streaming app that were going to revolutionize the way we absorb and disseminate news. And yet, just nine months later, both streaming services are virtually obsolete, gone the ways of Ello and Myspace. That’s because the app market is more cutthroat than Westeros, with just about as many horrific and public deaths. Who dare arrive on the scene in 2016 claiming to be the One True King of social media? Betches, meet Peach.
Heralded as “Twitter meets Facebook,” Peach is the newest app sweeping the teenage market. Brought to you from the mind of Don Hoffman, co-founder of Vine, Peach aims to keep you connected to your friends in a fun and minimalist way. You know, in case Snapchat, Instagram, Facebook and Twitter weren’t enough of a connection. Basically, Peach is the little sister of three super hot, successful people that has spent her entire childhood dissecting the best aspects of each one of them in order to grow up into an amalgamation of popular parts. In other words, Peach is Kylie Jenner.
Like Facebook, Peach quantifies people in “friends” rather than “followers.” You can post statuses to these friends, updating them on every solitary moment of your mundane life, another feature taken from Facebook. This, however, is where Peach differentiates itself. Instead of relying on your own inability to string words together, Peach allows you to access different multimedia sources from the app via “magic words” that have been pre-programmed. Almost like texting shortcuts, but better.
“Here” will geotag your location and blast it out to all your friends, which seems obnoxious in any instance other than being kidnapped. “GIF” will offer you a selection of GIFs from Giphy, the superior method of communication. “Draw” lets you draw something incoherent and post it to your feed, a feature that should be avoided unless you decided to drop $99 on the Apple Pencil. “Song” will post whatever song you’re listening to at the moment, virtually everyone’s worst nightmare as “Sorry” appears in your feed every six seconds. There are currently 20 magic words, and you can go through the full list here.
Peach doesn’t necessarily have the Betch stamp of approval just yet, but it scores major brownie points by making the app only available to iOS, which has the added benefit of enraging Android users and keeping their irrelevant statuses and shitty music taste away from us at the same time. Exclusivity is everything.
With the brevity of Twitter and the connection based interaction of Facebook, Peach could actually prove the cynics wrong and succeed in this temperamental market. Or they could be bested by some newer and lazier variation of sharing next week. Will any of us still care about it in six months? Only time will tell. Until then, have fun irritating your friends and accruing endless notifications with yet another social media platform.