If you’re reading this and wondering if OINTB is some new organic food chain you haven’t tried yet, you need to ask your mom for $8 and get yourself a Netflix account. Do yourself the favor, thank me later.
If you are a conscious, functioning human being on planet Earth, you know that when summer rolls around, that means it’s time to welcome our favorite prison betches back into our lives.
Orange Is The New Black, a Netflix Original Series that aired back in 2013, is back for their fourth season. The trailer was released yesterday, and if you haven’t seen it yet I have some questions for you, but that’s a separate conversation.
Take it all in:
Let’s discuss: Basically a lot of shit goes down at Litchfield, per ushe. “Protagonist” Piper cries about being jail for a long time and how unsafe she’s been feeling lately. I can’t wait for at least 4 episodes to be dedicated to her cry fest about how she wasn’t made for prison.
Meanwhile, other inmates have accepted their fate and tried to make success stories of themselves. Taystee gets a job (what looks like to be the position of Caputo’s secretary).
The prison seems to be busy with an influx of new inmates, and naturally Caputo freaks out about staffing issues. The COs (past and present) don’t have their shit together.
And of course, there looks to be some sort of turf war between Piper and the rest of the prison. “I think I pissed off the prison—I didn’t mean for it to get this bad.” Of course you didn’t, Piper! But you did. Just like you have managed to do every season.
The trailer ends with a final thought from Doggett, the resident blood-thirsty bible-thumper. “Do you know the difference between pain and suffering? Pain is always there, but suffering is a choice.”
*tears up* I hope to God she says this to Piper. Also, I think I need a prison tattoo.
June 17th can’t come soon enough.