A few Vanderpump Rules episodes ago, Stassi decided to diagnose all her shitty friends with mental disorders. Tbh, I forgot what she said they all had because that was weeks ago and I’ve gotten blackout at least six times since then. All I remember is that her illness was alcoholism which is laughable because all these assholes are borderline functioning alcoholics at minimum—they’re way more fucked up than a mild drinking problem. So we’ve decided to give a more accurate diagnosis of the entire cast. Just call me Dr. Lisa Vanderbetch today.