Obama Proposes We Make Your Trust Fund Smaller

Just when you thought you couldn’t possibly be less affected by politics, Obama decides to move “to the left to the left” in a way that could cause some catastrophic white girl problems – threatening your inheritance. In his 2016 budget proposal, Obama reveals his grand scheme to tax the rich and close whatever loophole currently allows you to inherit assets without having to pay a shit ton of taxes on them. Total dick move for those of us who were very simply lucky enough to be born with generous donations from family members.

We’re not the only ones who are going to be having a bitch fit over this one. Dirty looks by Republicans while Obama was announcing his proposal were so priceless they could probably give us a run for our money (definitely no pun intended). If you’re thinking of asking Siri how offshore bank accounts work, don’t bother. The big guy made mention of some Ponzi scheme to tax the shit out of those too in order to fund his beloved middle class and highway projects. This is why Wall Street likely has their Brooks Brothers boxer briefs in a twist too. 

Before you call your daddy hyperventilating, or reach for a Xanax, know that the budget proposal is probably never going to pass. Emphasis on proposal. Really, the Republicans in congress would have to sign it and like fetch, it’s not going to happen.




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