If you don’t live in New York City, you’re not dealing with the worst heat wave the city has seen in 3 years. There’s nothing worse than feeling like you’re going swimming the moment you walk outside of your apartment. Oh, wait. Maybe the FLYING FUCKING COCKROACHES that are COMING OUT OF THE SEWERS because of the ridiculous heat and humility in the SUBWAYS!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT THE FUUUUUUUCK.
Apparently, cockroaches are more likely to use their muscles to fly the hotter the temperature gets. WTF since when do cockroaches have muscles!??!?!??! And since when do they have wings!??!?! Honestly, this is fucking horrifying. The streets are filled with rats, garbage, D-List celebrities, and now flying fucking cockroaches. Why do people live in Manhattan again? Oscar De La Betcha is not down for this bullshit. I’m a celebrity (in my own mind), get me out of here!