228. Not Being Hungry

‘I’m not hungry’ is probably the biggest lie in the world. It’s up there with ‘I love your top’ and ‘no, that looks great on you!’ (exclamation points = lies.)

Sometimes when you decide to eat pressed lemon juice for a week to flush out your toxins, you don’t feel obligated to tell everyone you’ve ever met about it. But why should your social life take a hit because you refuse to eat solids? It shouldn’t. That’s where dropping an ‘I’m not that hungry’ comes in.

‘I’m not hungry’ statements imply that you’re mature and you care about healthy eating, obviously two more lies. But telling people you’re not hungry is an amazing lie because only a stalker would question you. Actually I saw you have seltzer and three unsalted nuts for lunch so I know that you ARE hungry.


This lie allows you not to explain your eating choices to anyone, and frees you from courtesy hors-d'oeuvre-ing, which is always the enemy. You’re not being a good party guest by beefing up. If the host cared about you at all she probably wouldn’t be serving bacon wrapped curry sausage and a dessert buffet.

But telling people that you’re not hungry whenever it happens to be convenient isn’t about not eating, it’s about not eating random shit because other people want you to and then lying to get them off your back, two honorable things that should be encouraged.

Next time your ‘friend’ and tries to hijack your skinny vanilla iced latte order at Starbucks by suggesting you split a 500 calorie cake pop or like, baby-sized croissant, just let her know ‘I’m not hungry.’


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