Nick Jonas, our one-time imaginary-boyfriend-turned-questionable-musician, was on Jimmy Fallon’s show and told the most incredible story about eating a lollipop edible. Like every betch at a music festival or on a Friday night, Nick was offered an edible the night before he had to present at some rando awards show. Like every girl trying weed for the first time her freshman year, nothing happened. Seriously, if I had a blunt for every time I heard an 18-year-old girl say, “It’s not even working,” I’d be higher than Snoop Dogg.
The next day, Nick woke up absolutely baked. Like tasting colors high. He decided to channel his ex-Disney star techniques and eat a billion carbs to sober up. When that didn’t work, he took a shower because if he’s going to be fucked up he might as well enjoy it. There is nothing better in this world than showering while high. None of that worked, and Nick showed up to the awards show as high as James Franco at the Oscars, but with definitively less media attention. Similar to James, Nick’s presentation was pretty much a disaster. Just like campus police, the audience pretended like they didn’t know he was high af.
But the best part of this story is that Nick introduced a new vocabulary term: the NARB, aka the no apparent reason boner. It’s nice to finally put a name to the phenomenon. I’m sure there’s an entire chapter in the Bro Code covering NARBs. So thank you to Nick for once again proving why you are our favorite Jonas Brother.