Study Proves Nicegirls Make Less Money Than Nasty Betches

Well well well, look who was fucking right (again)—us. According to some nerds we’d never talk to (aka the European Journal of Work and Organizational Psychology) nicegirls make less money man than nasty betches like us. The study (which is boring AF to read btw) was meant to examine why tf women are still paid so much less than men and treated so shittily when we are objectively superior to men in literally every way, especially smell and fashion.

Well, lo and behold, the answer is fucking nicegirls who I am ready to declare are a Trump-level menace to society, and who should be banned from entering the US. According to the boring study (which I obviously didn’t read and only skimmed because what do you think I am, some kind of nicegirl), when women “fall into the old-fashioned stereotype of being meek in the workplace, they suffer financially.”

duh

Fucking duh. Like sure, Shelly, those cupcakes you make for literally everyone’s birthdays are bangin’ but while you were doing that I was in the boss’s office sharing my legit amazing ideas and now I am promoted and you’re still sorting fucking mail. Priorities, Shelly.

So where does this epidemic of nicegirls come from? And more importantly, how do we stop them? Well, the cause of the nicegirl problem is the same thing that causes all problems for all women everywhere throughout history (say it with me now!): THE PATRIARCHY.

Patriarchy

You see, women are often advised to “pipe down in the office” as to not seem “bitchy or bossy,” and if you’re not born with the genetic disposition to be a badass betch that knows being bitchy and bossy are literally the two best things any woman could possibly be, you might actually listen. Cue the nicegirls who have bought into society’s expectation that women should be nice, calming presences in the office instead of raging cyclones of sass that demand an hour for lunch and a pay raise right fucking now.

As the President-elect would say: Sad!

Unfortunately, things aren’t that much brighter for us nasty women either, as the survey also found that no matter how aggressive the woman is, they still earn less than their male colleagues in every profession studied, across the board.

So yeah, I guess there’s no reason specifically to be a bitch, but there’s no reason not to be one, either. 

Hillary Clinton not amused

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