I've been in denial for about eight months that my boyfriend can not be this controlling psychopath, that all my friends think he is. He constantly brings up my past, such as hook ups, partying and dumb shit like that… before I even knew him. He begged me to know everything (bad move on my part to tell him) and now he cant handle it. When he brings it up, he wants me to make him feel better and reasure him that he was still my first everything… because the guys before him didnt “count”.
This usually starts a fight… me trying to make him feel better… than me yelling at him to get over it. He always needs to know where I am, when I get into bed, when I get out of it, who I'm with and what I'm doing. I guess boyfriends are supposed to want to know… but to what extent!? Advice please!!! Don't suggest breaking up with the lunatic.. I'm trying to fix this.
Controlled by my past
Dear Controlled By My Past,
Holy shit I can't believe you're dating Jay Gatsby. You can't repeat the past! “Sure you can, old sport,” your boyfriend proclaims as he leaves you letters suggesting that if you can't tell him that you never loved Tom he'll simply murder you and your besties. I can't believe it isn't painfully obvious that you should break up with this insecure psycho.
Any relationship where the girlfriend begs me to tell her not to break up with a guy and then refers to him as 'the lunatic' obviously does not have a very bright future. Your boyfriend sounds completely deluded and in need of serious psychological counseling. A guy can either accept you as you are, while knowing about that one time blackout threesome or he can date someone else who fits his weird virginal molding. This guy is trying to change who you were to make you into the perfect girl for him and what's worse is that you put up with that shit. If he doesn't like your past he doesn't like you. He's obviously trying to control where you are and what you're doing because he doesn't trust you and is so insecure that he thinks any moment that he's out of the loop is the moment you're hooking up with someone else. This guy needs to work on himself before he can be in any kind of real relationship and accept the person he's dating the way she is. Move on. This shit sounds creepy.