Meryl Streep And Cher Once Stopped A Crime IRL, & The Story Will Give You Life

Fuck the new Justice League movie, the real superheroes (superheroines?) are Meryl Streep and Cher, and it’s not because they aged gracefully. While Meryl may be remembered by history as being nominated for an Oscar basically every year since she was born and Cher for bitching out Trump on Twitter, their Wikipedia entries need to incorporate a new fact: they saved a girl from assault once.

Meryl was speaking at the International Press Freedom Awards and told a story about how she and Cher fought off an assailant who was abusing a girl. Cher gave an interview in UsWeekly in 1983 where she talks about her and Meryl stopping a mugging, so Meryl is probs referring to the same incident. Apparently Cher and Meryl saw the incident, and Meryl went full Wonder Woman and stopped the crime. The assailant then ran away, because like, wtf is there to do when you get caught assaulting someone by two of the world’s most iconic performers? So to recap: Even assholes who think it’s acceptable to physically harm, intimidate, or assault a woman in plain sight know that Cher and Meryl are not to be fucked with. Seriously, who will make a film about this? I’m willing to accept either: 1) a biopic detailing this exact incident starring Chloë Grace Moretz and Demi Lovato as Meryl and Cher, respectively, OR 2) a competely fictional crime fighting superhero movie starring the actual Meryl and Cher. Take your pick, Hollywood. If somebody was willing to fund Suicide Squad, this has to be a no-brainer.

Also, can you imagine the emotional roller-coaster that would be realizing you’re about to be the victim of a violent attack, then realizing someone has come to save you from said violent attack, then realizing those people are MERYL STREEP AND CHER? I mean, I’m sure the victim was still 100% traumatized, but it’s definitely better than being saved by like, some boring-ass officer of the law or some random dude who’s gonna try to ask for your number later as recompense for “saving your life”. Also also, I need 100% more information about what Cher was wearing when all of this went down. Meryl—please call me. 

While the mental image of this moment deserves to be immortalized in film, it highlights the importance of women standing up for each other—kind of like making sure your bestie gets home safely after a Friday night blackout. So Cher and Meryl Streep may not be the heroes we deserve, but they’re def the ones that we need right now.


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