ADVERTISEMENT

The 'Mean Girls' Musical Is Happening Sooner Than You Think

For those of us who are always looking for new, more magical ways to connect with Mean Girls, aka the greatest film ever filmed, you’re in luck because the Mean Girls musical is coming to Broadway. Whether you’re a plastic, a sexually active band geek, or even an unfriendly black hottie, this is obviously incredible news. And before you freak out thinking some lame-ass mathlete is going to come in and ruin Mean Girls, shut up because it is being written by none other than famed drug pusher Tina Fey, with help from lead producer Lorne Michaels (SNL guy) and music and lyrics by Nell Benjamin, the man behind another betchy-flick-turned-musical, Legally Blonde.

So yeah, basically this musical is going to be extremely grool, and you’re going to need to get tickets ASAP or this will be you come opening day:

Mean Girls the musical is headed to Broadway next spring, beginning previews March 12 and opening April 8 at the August Wilson Theater. Tickets go on sale on October 3rd, because obviously. The musical will also run at the National Theater in D.C. from October 31st-December 3rd, so put on your cutest white gold hoops and go see it before anybody else. Just tell them your dad invented Toaster Strudel and hit up an aisle seat like:

Mean Girls faces stiff competition this spring from other big name musicals this year. Regina, Gretchen, Karen, and Cady will be going up against SpongeBob Squarepants (fat whore), Frozen (uses super jumbo tampons), and Harry Potter (can go shave his back now), but we’re fairly confident they’ll figure out a way to share the crown.

Honestly, I’m just excited to see Damian sing the cafeteria map, and hear Karen’s solo ballad “But Why Are You White?” Oh, and it goes without saying, but on opening night we wear pink. 

 
Alise Morales
Alise Morales
Alise Morales is a comedy writer and performer. She is the writer of the Betches Sup Newsletter and co-host of the Betches Sup Podcast.