Mango Salsa For The Skinny Betch

Blessed is the betch who fills up on veggies and not carbs. She shall have the best thigh gap. But honestly, summer calls for lots of fresh produce which makes for lots of salads. If you’re tired of salads, make a “salsa” that you can eat on cucumbers or some other betchy snack.

Additionally, if you have now sworn off eating due to the abounding depression taking hold of you after that goddamn Game of Thrones finale, this is a great way to start.

Mangoes are delicious and salsa is delicious and this goes well with shots of tequila so there’s that.


  • 2 mangoes, diced
  • ½ cup cilantro, diced
  • ½ cup English cucumber, diced
  • ½ cup grape tomatoes, sliced (optional)
  • ¼ cup red onion, diced
  • 2 tbsps extra virgin olive oil
  • 2 tbsps lime juice
  • Salt and pepper
  • 1 tsp cumin
  • 1 tsp chipotle chile powder

In a giant bowl, combine mangos, cilantro, cucumber, tomatoes if using, and red onion. In a separate, small bowl, combine the olive oil, lime juice, salt, pepper, cumin and chili powder – adjusting the seasonings to taste. Pour over the mango mixture and let the whole thing sit at room temperature for about an hour – stirring occasionally. The flavors have to like, get acquainted. Eat with chips or cucumbers or whatever while drinking heavily.


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