Sorry Gingers, The New Little Mermaid Is Blonde

You know that thing that Disney is doing where they remake all their animated movies with real people? Well, it’s happening with The Little Mermaid, and they’re making one very important change (and probably a bunch of other ones, but who cares): Ariel will no longer be a redhead.

Chloë Grace Moretz, who really needs to just pick a name, will be playing Princess Ariel, and she said that her character will be a blonde. This should be seen as a major slap in the face to gingers everywhere, who already don’t have much to feel good about in life.

Not to worry though, redheads, because you still have a Disney Princess to hold dear. It’s Merida, from Brave, who is also the one princess to end up without a man. Sorry ladies, it’s not our fault that you got the short end of the genetic stick!

As for the movie itself, it doesn’t have a release date yet, but it should be interesting. Chloë said that she’s going to make Ariel “progressive for young girls,” because what isn’t feminist about a girl who literally wants to cut off her legs for a man? The movie is also supposed to be based more on the original fairytale than the movie, which probably means no singing crabs. Fine with us.


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