The apocalypse has happened and true love was just another casualty. I’m speaking, of course, about Brangelina’s Brexit—aka the final split between Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. Two of the most beautiful and probably mentally unstable (TBT to Angelina’s blood vial days) celebs of our time have called it quits. Now that Angelina has officially been Lemonade-ed™, it’s time to start thinking about who the pair should copulate with next. Sure, Brad apparently already has a woman and side piece in that French actress whose name I already forgot, but you know he’s down to start banging whatevs. If you’re not satisfied with Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie, you’ll never be satisfied, Brad. Perhaps it’s time to look inward. What I’m saying is, you have a sex addiction. Jk. But maybe. Call me?