What you choose to put on your lips actually says a lot about your soul and whether or not you're ugly. In fact, your lipstick color can basically make or break you. As in, pick the wrong one and you're screwed forevz. Seriously, one time I wore a specifically heinous shade of pink to school (I was inspired by my then idol, Kate from Lizzie Mcguire) and my BFF called me out in front of everyone, so I made out with her dad and now the whole family doesn't speak. Obviously I won that fight, but you get the point. Anyway, in case you were curious – yes her dad was hot – but also, yes I'm here to help you not make the same mistake.
In order from betchy to absolutely vomit-inducing, here's a ranking of lipstick shades.
Red is definitely the betchiest of lipstick colors because it takes a really pretty person to actually pull it off. It's also a rather intimidating color to most of the female species because we all know that when applied wrong, red can make you look like an atrocious popsicle eating clown. Not every girl can throw on a red lipstick and look cute. Like your parent's country club, this shade is mad exclusive and should be treasured for that.
Thanks to Kylie, mauve has really made a comeback. It’s super betchy because it makes your lips look desirably full and better than everyone else's.
Similar to red, only the right kind of betch can pull off a bright lipstick. When you don a super vibrant hue, you have to know that people will be staring at your mouth and be okay with that fact. Therefore if you wear a bright lipstick, you probs have a nice mouth. Very betchy of you.
A classic shade that makes you look mean, but not too mean. Approachable, but actually not approachable at all.
Betchy because it says “I don’t give a fuck what you think,” and also “I hate you.”
If your name isn’t Barbie or Skipper, please don’t wear baby pink lipstick. You actually just look fucking stupid. Might as well pop on some blue eyeshadow and call it a day.
Ugh, vomit. Seriously? Not only does this shade make your teeth look yellow/British, it also makes you look straight up dead. Not cute.
The literal grossest thing to happen to your face is to have your lips disappear. LIKE WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO YOURSELF? Go back to the cave you crawled out of, thanks.