Calm Down, Lindsay Lohan Isn’t Engaged

So yesterday TMZ reported that Lindsay Lohan was engaged, but in the grand tradition of TMZ articles, they were completely wrong. Still, it’s nice to see a LiLo headline that doesn’t involve probation. The shitstorm started after the following photo was posted on Instagram of Lindsay and her boyfriend Egor Tarabasov, where she appears to be wearing an engagement ring. The photo also heavily features her saggy boobs and a giant fugly heart necklace, but we’ll focus on the ring because we’re nice people and anyone’s boobs would probably look saggy in that top.

After the entire internet freaked out worried it might be time to get our shit together, Lindsay’s rep told People that the rumors are just that—rumors.

For anybody who cares, Egor Tarabasov is a Russian heir seven years Lindsay’s junior—making Lilo the youngest person to technically qualify as a cougar. She and Egor have been together for a couple of months now, which is probably longer than Lindsay’s ever been sober. They also spent Christmas in London with her family, so even if they aren’t engaged, things are still pretty serious. That sounds like the life Annie James would have lived while Halle Parker was in an out of rehab.

Egor’s dad owns several businesses in Moscow, and Egor already has his own real estate company—in other words, he’s a keeper. To put it in even simpler terms, even if LiLo never does another movie, she still shouldn’t have to steal any more necklaces. Take good care of her, Egor, and maybe don’t let her get any more DUIs.


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