Southern Charm fans—who are you? Oh. There, I see you, all five of you—I’ve got some bad news. Our favorite hot mess, Landon Clements, will not be returning to the show for season five. Honestly I can’t tell how I feel about this news. On the one hand, Landon at best annoys me every time she opens her mouth or even appears on screen, and at worst she actively offends me and makes me go into a rage blackout. On the other hand, she is a walking hot mess, which is great for TV drama. Especially considering Southern Charm has basically zero of the aforementioned drama. Like, now that Kathryn’s (mildly) sane, who is going to bring the pizzazz? Shep and his never-ending parade of thots? No, he’s got his own spin-off to focus on. Austen and Chelsea? They barely even go here. Cameran? Well, I mean, pregnancy brain is a stereotype, so okay maybe we’ve got something here, but it’s not promising.
Landon told Bravo’s Daily Dish, “I have decided to return to California where I will be pursuing my career in residential real estate. I recently renewed my license and am thrilled to join the team at CLIMB Real Estate.” Is that her dad’s business? The same one she got a cool hundred grand from for babysitting a vacant lot? Because if so, I can’t exactly blame her for chasing that easy paper. And also, where can I send my resume? Landon adds, “While I won’t be returning to Southern Charm, I’m excited for this next chapter in my life.” Honestly, maybe the shame of getting rejected by Shep and Thomas was just too much to bear. #BeenThere
As sad as I am to see our favorite drunk aunt move on to greener pastures (answer: only mildly sad tbh), I am glad and honestly surprised that she woke the fuck up and realized there’s no money to be made in the travel and lifestyle blog business. (Says the girl currently writing for a lifestyle blog.) For now we don’t have details on who, if anyone, will replace Landon, so stay tuned on more updates from Vanderpump Rules’ less attractive and interesting cousin.