So the club went way too far up on a Tuesday for Lamar Odom, proving there is such a thing as being too turnt.
He was relaxing at a brothel in Nevada, as a former basketball star and ex-Kardashian does. Story True: Kris Humphries was in the next room. He was found by Madison Montag and Ryder Cherry, their fathers must be so proud, on Tuesday night unconscious in his VIP suite. According to the owner of the brothel – who made sure to clarify that it was operating legally unlike a sorority at Washington University in St. Louis – “a bunch of ugly stuff came out of him.” And he doesn’t mean a drunk voicemail.
Various reports say a “mucus-type liquid came from Lamar’s mouth and nose, while E! says he was foaming at the mouth and also began vomiting.” So like a little bit more intense than when you vom-ed on Halloween last year. There weren’t any drugs in the room, so he probably wasn’t doing any crack, but like idk. The brothel owner says he was on a shit ton of herbal Viagra and regular Viagra, which is the first time I’ve ever heard of Viagra being used as a recreational drug, but k. Tbt to when Kris Jenner accidentally gave Rob Kardashian Viagra, and he had to go to the hospital. Maybe she accidentally put too much in Lamar’s Cognac?
When they called 911, they couldn’t fit him in the helicopter because he played in the NBA and is super fucking tall. Suddenly that 5’9” guy at the bar doesn’t seem so bad, right? Now he’s at a hospital in Las Vegas and comatose, so firmly less than ideal. Kobe Bryant also flew down, and NBA players are sending prayers to a guy they haven’t spoken to since he got fired for playing like shit. On a more serious note, this is pretty bad. Things are not looking good for Khloe’s Lammy.
Khloe Kardashian, Kim Kardashian-West, and Kris Jenner all immediately went to support Lamar, even though Kim just shit all over him in the Keeping Up With The Kardashians Season 12 promo. Apparently Khloe hasn’t left his side and is heartbroken, so French Montana is considering pulling the same shit to get her to respond to his texts.
Almost simultaneously, Scott Disick checked into rehab for the millionth time. The two events may not be related, but it’s not crazy to think they are. It’s pretty easy to imagine him having one of his lucid moments where he talks about being a good father instead of hooking up with 18 year olds in Florida.
Well whatever the fuck is happening, let’s send some good vibes to Lamar and the Kardashians and start counting the days until we see this play out on KUWTK.