I guess it wasn’t enough that she was a shitty rapper for like 3.5 seconds, because now Kylie’s dabbling into the music industry for real this time: Kylie is now a DJ. Let’s all take a moment of silence to mourn the death of music as we know it.
The good news is, Kylie’s going to DJ at a club called Foxtail in Vegas this month. I say that’s good news because I literally live across the country from Las Vegas, so the odds that I will have to deal with this shit personally are literally zero. It’s the little things that keep you going.
No clue what premade mix Kylie is going to play and try to pass off as her own, but I’m sure, like most things she does, it’s going to be terrible. Wait, what if it’s just a 2-hour long playlist of “Beautiful Day”? What if it’s just The Life of Pablo on repeat? Worse, what if it’s one of Tyga’s albums?? The possibilities for her to be awful are really endless here. Damn it, now I’m kind of looking forward to this. Her terribleness gives me life. If Kylie ever stops being the worst, I honestly don’t know what I’d do.
Update: Kylie apparently tweeted out that the whole DJ thing isn’t true. Okay, that’s weird, but not as weird as the reply this person left on Kylie’s tweet:
@KylieJenner murder me and use the blood as your ketchup for your chicken nuggets if you want to
— marie*:･ﾟ✧✨ (@5hMarie) May 13, 2016
*Backs away slowly*
Anywho, even if “Kylizzle” might not be making her DJ debut this month, you can bet that now that the jackasses at SLS Las Vegas have put the idea in her head, it won’t be long before she’s charging a bajillion dollars to hit play on David Guetta’s Tomorrowworld 2015 set. That’s okay, because I’m sure she’s got some other garbage move up her sleeve. Art installation? Could be. Pop single? Probably in the works as we speak. Eloping with Flo Rida, or another shittier rapper, and having his baby? Honestly, nothing would surprise me at this point.