Kobe Bryant is Retiring

Beloved by anyone from Los Angeles (and hated in most other cities), NBA superstar Kobe Bryant announced he will be retiring after the 2015-2016 season. Bryant spread the news on The Players Tribune in a surprisingly poignant poem, proof that he’s more than just a pretty face and a good shot.

If the NBA were to be equated to Mean Girls, then of course Kobe Bryant would be Regina George. He came into the league right out of high school in 1996, before some betches were even born. Since then, he’s alienated teammates (pretty much calling Shaquille O’Neal fat on the court), earned the Most Valuable Player Award, and led Team USA to two gold medals.

As expected with the NBA’s resident mean girl, Kobe was not without his fair share of drama. He was accused of sexual assault in Colorado, but the charges were eventually dropped and a civil suit was settled out of court.

The accusation could have ended his career, but Kobe climbed the social stratosphere once again and returned to prominence in his basketball clique. He’s nicknamed himself “vino,” claiming to be aging like a fine wine. And any player who compares himself to wine is a winner in our book.

Congrats on a great career, Kobe. And if you want to split a bottle to celebrate the news, you know who to call.


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