Happy Monday betches! If you clicked on this post in the hopes of finding advice on how to keep around the perfect male specimen then 1. You’re about to be seriously disappointed (#sorrynotsorry) and 2. You’re on the wrong fucking website (and an obvious 3. that I shouldn’t even have to say but will anyway because if you’re that desperate to keep a dude around, then you’re fucking pathetic and you are most definitely NOT a betch.)
Now that I’ve weeded out the haves from the have nots, I have a really large bone to pick with Kirk Cameron and his recent stance on how women should act inside their marriages. According to People, Mike Seaver from fucking Growing Pains (a show that only matters because it eventually helped launch Leonardo DiCaprio’s career) was interviewed by the Christian Post not too long ago and definitely turned some heads with his views on how to resolve conflict (if you can call it that) inside the home: “Wives are to honor and respect and follow their husband’s lead, not to tell their husband how he ought to be a better husband. When each person gets their part right, regardless of how their spouse is treating them, there is hope for real change in their marriage.”
I literally am so angry right now that words are hard for me to type, but don’t worry guys—I’ll fight through it, because there’s no way I’m not commenting on how fucking ridiculous that is for someone of the 21st century to say of his female counterpart. First of all, women don’t live to serve men, why do I even need to say this?? Maybe in the ’50s all we were good for was making you that sandwich after sex, but check the date dude, it’s 2016. Women are CEOs now and sometimes, you’re the stay-at-home parent. How about you wake up from your fantasy that life will ever revert back to that time and start realizing that for a woman to “honor and respect and follow their husband’s lead” that they, too, need to be honored and respected and treated as your fucking equal.
Second of all, thanks for the advice Captain Kirk but as far as I’m concerned, if my (nonexistent) husband’s being a complete fucking asshole I, out of everyone on this planet, as his wife, have the most right to tell him to cut the shit. Am I saying that nagging is cool? No. Nagging’s super annoying. But do you know what else is super annoying? Backseat driving (something literally EVERY SINGLE MAN seems to do when a woman is driving), which by the way, is something my ex-boyfriend used to do all the fucking time and you can bet your ass he got a verbal lashing every single time he told me that I didn’t stop for long enough when I got to a stop sign. What? I totally paused.
My point is really just that, when you’re a part of a relationship (meaning two people and not one man and his blowup doll, because apparently women only exist as a multitude of holes for a man to fill) you absolutely need to voice your concern when something your partner is doing is annoying the shit out of you. Did said ex-boyfriend love how sarcastic I am? No. But that was a problem for the two of us to deal with and have a conversation about, not something I immediately changed just so he could feel completely content and happy while yelling at me that I have a heavy foot and he doesn’t like it when I slam on the break.
To make a long story short, Mr. Cameron, (and even to his sister DJ Tanner, who seems to believe that it’s impossible for a family to have two authority figures and always submits to her big strong man), marriage is a TEAM EFFORT. You will get nowhere and end up really bitter with a drinking problem and probably a prescription pill addiction if you don’t let your significant other know when they’re being absolutely completely ridiculous. While always fighting is not good, no one ever benefited from bottling up their emotions either. Then again, what do I know? I’m just a 21-year-old girl who probably already has a drinking problem and no boyfriend.