Earlier this week Kim Kardashian claimed she was robbed at gunpoint in her Paris hotel room and the thieves stole approx $10 million in jewelry. Yes, this sounds like the plot of the next Pink Panther movie (yet another time Kim stole Beyoncé’s look). Kendall Jenner left Paris Fashion Week early. Kanye postponed his tour. Kris is probably trying to sell the TV rights to E! as you read this.
Well, people are calling bullshit on Kim’s story. Basically—why the fuck would a celebrity keep that much jewelry, designer clothes, technology, and money in a hotel room with shittier security than on the Real World? A couple of men threatened the concierge and walked up to Kim’s room without any security alert being issued or any security guard being called sounds suspicious as fuck.
Plus, there was no surveillance footage of the thieves entering the hotel or Kim’s room and no footage of her trying to get help. The hostel I stayed at in Barcelona during my semester abroad sounds more secure than Kim’s luxury hotel.
Karl Lagerfeld agrees that this sounds sketchy. He said, “If you are that famous and you put all your jewelry on the Net, you go to hotels where nobody can come near the room. You cannot display your wealth and then be surprised that some people want to share it with you.” Holy victim blaming, Batman! No offense Karl, but being bound and gagged and put in a bathtub doesn’t seem like the robbers wanted “to share” Kim’s wealth with her. It sounds like the opening to a Law & Order: SVU episode.
SPEAKING OF… You know who watches Law & Order?
SHADY. Also let’s not forget that Kim KW is the queen of receipts (see: the demise of Taylor Swift). It would be very out of character for her to make up a story without any supporting evidence. But then again that’s basically what she did when she said she loved Kris Humphries. If this is fake, Kim’s fall from grace will be Heidi Pratt-esque. Like, she’d need to call Ryan Lochte for advice, which is never a position you want to be in.
Do we think Kim faked her own robbery? Honestly, no. The Kardashians might be depraved, but making up a story like this would be a level of depravity even Kris wouldn’t go to. (We hope.)
Regardless, it’s pretty excellent timing considering that Keeping Up With the Kardashians‘ new season starts on October 23.