Another day, another breadcrumb in the Kardashian pregnancy conspiracy theory thread. Today’s latest piece of evidence that probably confirms what we’ve all shadily known for months comes courtesy of Khloé Kardashian’s Snapchat, where it looks like she may have dropped an accidental clue. But then again, is anything really accidental when Kris Jenner is involved? Other than these pregnancies, probably not. Actually, Khloé’s pregnancy was probably planned, but you get what I mean. (Kylie’s was definitely an accident, though, because I refuse to believe that anyone, even a rapper who recently rapped “let me cum inside ya / let me plant my seed inside ya”, would purposefully impregnate a 20-year-old Kylie Jenner.) Anyway. On Sunday, Khloé promoted her Diff Eyewear sunglasses on her Snapchat story, where some eagle eyes noticed something very interesting in the reflection of her shades.
Do you see it? Me either, because I’m not a psychopath I have no idea what I’m looking for. So look carefully into the left lens (your left—not Khloé’s). Do you see what looks like a person laying face-down wearing white pants? Yeah. That is probably not a dead body, and is more likely a pregnancy pillow. Here’s a photo in case you are unable to conjure up a mental image of one such pillow on your own (don’t worry, I have never even heard of these things until just now).
So I mean, yeah, that’s probably what this is, but I still have to ask: Why does it look like there’s a torso attached to this pillow, though? I still may call the police just to be sure. Like, how do we know this isn’t Rob’s lifeless body? WE DON’T. Somebody check on Rob to make sure he’s okay.
On a less morbid note, this pillow could, I guess, be Kylie’s or Kim’s or even left over from Kourtney’s or Blac Chyna’s pregnancies. Maybe it’s like, the sisterhood of the traveling pregnancy pillow. Do I really think that? No. But I’ve got to throw out all viable options in the name of journalism. It could also be like, a pair of Tristan’s pants he left on the floor or some shit. Maybe Khloé is sub-Snapchatting him for not picking up after himself. It’s probably the pregnancy pillow, though. #Journalism. I will now await my Pulitzer prize.
That’s all the news I have for today. Stay tuned for December 24th, when an episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians entitled “Baby Fever” is slated to air. That’s right. On Christmas. The devil may work hard, but Kris Jenner works a hell of a lot harder. Actually, you can’t tell me Kris Jenner isn’t the devil. Who else would drop news this big on fucking Christmas? I’ll wait.
