So Khloe Kardashian is on her comeback tour for her new TV show Kocktails with Khloe and she took the liberty of visiting the man too gay to function on cable television, Bravo Andy. If you haven’t seen Watch What Happens Live, then you’re wasting your life, but Andy Cohen is like a trashier version of Anderson Cooper. He asks the hard questions like which of Khloe’s sisters’ significant others would she Fuck, Marry, or Kill. That is some serious investigative journalism.
Khloe would marry Kanye, because he is a God, but also the only one with an actual career, and he hasn’t cheated on a Kardashian-Jenner. Like, he might not change diapers but at least he doesn’t Facetime strippers or punch mirrors. Fuck Scott, probably because he’d be black out and wouldn’t remember it. Kill Tyga, because he wrote a song about having sex with a 16 year old.
Andy also discovered that Khloe and Lamar made a sex tape, which was probably just to fuck with Kim. I wonder how Kourtney feels now that she’s the only Kardashian woman – including Kris – that doesn’t have a sex tape. Dignified?