I’m not saying that the following news is the most disgusting thing I’ve ever read, I’m just saying it’s ranked somewhere between Ted Cruz eating his own booger and Ted Cruz in general. In Hong Kong, KFC is now offering a non-menu item that’s just as revolting as everything else you can purchase from the establishment—an edible fingernail polish that comes in three flavors. Original, Hot and Spicy, and Go Kill Yourself. Jk on the last one but I wish, right?!
“Yes, it is actually a real thing,” says Anna Mugglestone, presumably a Muggle, and definitely one of the psychopaths behind this asinine campaign. “I tried it myself in the office when they were doing testing. It tastes like chicken. It’s crazy. I don’t know how they do it.” Anna Mugglestone, who obviously doesn’t have taste buds (or a moral compass…or a soul) should not be trusted.
Mugglestone says the nail polish is a way “to remind the younger generation” of “the great taste and good times the brand stands for.” Like, finding beaks in your chicken wings, general displeasure, and wanting to be at Taco Bell instead.
Since the product hasn’t launched into mass production yet, these assholes are asking Hong Kong consumers which flavor they would prefer: Original or Hot and Spicy. That’s a very unfair way to set your consumers up for failure considering that the only reasonable option—a gasp followed by a “WHAT? NO?????”—isn’t on the table.
All of this just seems like a ridiculous way for the losers at KFC to try and stay relevant. Apparently desperation tastes like what you’d expect chicken nail polish to taste like—that is, finger lickin’ disgusting.