Kevin Jonas recently posted an Instagram on behalf of him and his wife Danielle to announce her pregnancy with their second child. There was clearly a lot of thought put into it judging by the minutiae of props and desperation on their faces, but one perplexing question remains: How long, from start to finish, did it take to produce this? While it’s not an exact science, I can offer a mathematical breakdown that will come very close to the precise length of time it took Kevin Jonas to Instagram this attempted joke.
Let’s start with the photo at its conceptual stage. Kevin and Danielle definitely had this baby solely so they could post the announcement, so let’s call that two months worth of sex and pregnancy tests and whatnot. Next, they had to decide what type of humorous scene would work best. After scratching out the idea of a gender swap pic with Kevin carrying the child, they settled on this one which plays off of Danielle’s many “hilarious” fatty food cravings. Let’s add another three hours for that initial brainstorming session to the total time.
Next, they needed to scout out a location within their home, which probably isn’t that big because they’re not that rich. 15 minutes added to the total time.
After that, they had to gather all of the items pictured. Kevin has a “What to Expect” book and Danielle has a spread of snacks including Cheerios, Doritos and Girl Scout Cookies. This translates into 25 minutes added for them to decide what to include, 2 hours while they waited for their maid to pick up all the items, another 45 minutes because they said fucking Samoas not Tagalongs, and then an additional 30 minutes for them to place all the items in the bed.
With all those steps completed, they were about halfway done.
There was clearly no way in hell Danielle would participate in this without getting a full blowout and her makeup done, so we’ll add 3 hours for that process. Kevin spent five hours pacing around their home anxiously trying to pick out his outfit while that was happening, so we need to add an additional 2 hours for his nervous breakdown.
Finally, we near the end of this whole process when their maid faced hours of scolding as she took picture after picture until Kevin and Danielle were satisfied. While it’s impossible to know how many pictures were taken, based on my expertise I am going to estimate that it took 6 hours for them to get this shot and another 1.5 hours to edit it. Lastly, the caption is pretty basic, “Prepping for baby number two! #babyjonas2” so we’ll say that it only took an additional 15 minutes to create. We of course need to add 1 second for him to click the Share button, and then voila! The picture was complete.
When you tally the times of all these steps together, you get a grand total of:
2 months, 19 hours, forty minutes and one second to Instagram this photo.
So there it is. While this analysis is highly advanced and formulaic, I want to stress that there may be a margin of error of about 3-5 seconds, so the answer should only be used directionally.