If you’ve ever read any of my shit you probs know that I’m a connoisseur of everything Vanderpump Rules. I pride myself on knowing what they’re up to at all times so I can keep you informed of the fuckery happening between the world’s worst bartenders. That’s why I felt like a little bit of a failure when Katie Maloney-Schwartz had a party to celebrate her new lipstick line and I was v confused because I had completely forgotten she had a beauty blog and was therefore some sort of beauty guru. Whoops. Was the oversight because last season she spent all her time obliterating Tom and his alleged non-functioning dick? Potentially. Was it because I’d rather take beauty advice from a Duggar than a girl who had her hair in a brassy orange bob for an entire season?
Definitely Maybe. But either way, I forgot, and I sincerely apologize for dropping the VPR ball. It will never happen again. But I’m back on my shit now and here to tell you all about her lipsticks and whether they’re worth a damn or not. Go ahead and thank me now.
In case you’re like me and totally forgot about the blog, it’s called Pucker & Pout, and luckily, the line is a collab with famous makeup artist Julie Hewett so I guess that gives it a little more street cred than Tequila Katie doing this on her own. There are two lipsticks: One called Pucker that’s bright pink, and one called Pout that’s a nude. Pucker and Pout for Pucker & Pout? Groundbreaking. They’re both matte so imagine Bravo’s version of Kylie’s lip kits I suppose. Personally I will never wear bright pink because I’m not a toddler who got into my mom’s makeup or a 97-year-old nursing home hussy but I’d def give the nude one a try. They won’t be available until early 2018 so that’s kind of a bummer but expect a review, or like a pic, of both as soon as we can get our hands on them.