Justin Bieber’s Dick Tries To Steal Orlando Bloom’s Dick’s Spotlight

I’m sure you’ve seen the Orlando Bloom “naked on a paddle board” shots by now, right? If not, WTF are you waiting for? Even my grandmother has seen them and she’s like 75% blind. Interestingly enough though, these Orlando Bloom nudes are just the tip of the dick iceberg this past week because another celeb with a penchant for going au naturel—Justin Bieber—is trying to steal Orlando’s uncircumcised limelight. 

The Biebz and his own penis were photographed skinny dipping in Hawaii with some random model just days after. See below.

Something about the photos feels premeditated though. As in, they were IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE. Like how did the paparazzi know? Why are these shots so close? Could Bieber have tipped them off? Usually I’d say NAH, but with Bieber, I’ve learned to NEVER SAY NEVER. Especially after I found out that he once peed in a restaurant mop bucket. 

The plot thickens when you realize that Bloom and The Biebz have beef. About two years ago, Bloom tried to punch Bieber in Ibiza (same) because apparently Bieber slept with Orlando’s ex-wife, model Miranda Kerr. Then, Bloom was photographed with Bieber’z ex Selena Gomez (but just on a curb outside of a Chelsea Handler show, so it wasn’t even that big of a deal) and apparently, Bieber saw that as the ultimate back stab.

stab caesar mean girls

So is Biebz is trying to fire up an old battle with Bloom that only like, three or four people even know about in the first place? Or does he simply love getting his dick snapped for the papz? You be the judge…


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